Reni Maitua’s account of the crisis after Parramatta’s 2013 loss

“That was the weekend I did try to take my own life,” Reni Maitua later told Fox Sports. The attempt came in the aftermath of Parramatta’s round 23 loss to Brisbane in 2013, although accounts differ on whether it happened that night or two days later. Maitua broke down in the Suncorp Stadium sheds after the game and sent farewell messages to family members before the attempt.

Maitua said the suicidal thoughts had begun in mid-2009, while he was serving a two-year ban after testing positive to illicit drugs. He had also been suspended after being charged with common assault over an altercation with a taxi driver; the available account does not give a court outcome. Maitua said he felt “worthless” and “alone” when the thoughts began.

His sister Megan contacted Willie Tonga, who said he went straight to Maitua’s apartment. Tonga found Maitua and intervened, according to the accounts.

Maitua was receiving treatment for depression at The Black Dog Institute.

Maitua later said, “You can’t answer it until you understand that it’s an illness.” He wanted younger players to learn from his mistakes and offered himself to rugby league clubs as a speaker or player adviser.